Lafcadio's Adventures: A Novel by André Gide

By André Gide

Passing with cinematographic velocity around the capitals of Europe, Nobel laureate André Gide’s Lafcadio’s Adventures is a brilliantly sly satire and one of many clearest articulations of his maximum subject: the unmotivated crime.

When Lafcadio Wluiki, a street-smart nineteen-year-old in Eighteen Nineties Paris, learns that he’s inheritor to an in poor health French nobleman’s fortune, he’s seized by means of wanderlust. touring via Rome in dear new threads, he turns into entangled in a Church extortion scandal concerning an imprisoned Pope, a skittish purveyor of graveyard statuary, an atheist-turned-believer at the fringe of insolvency, and all demeanour of wastrels, swindlers, aristocrats, adventurers, and pickpockets. With attribute irony, Gide contrives a hilarious detective farce wherein the inaccurate guy is apprehended, whereas the charmingly perverse Lafcadio—one of the main unique creations in all glossy fiction—goes free.—Reprint version

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La única Marilyn que vi en el cine es Marilyn Brando. Gran actriz. Me mató con su actuación en La Madrina, que para mí es la mejor película de Francesca Ford Coppola. La situación comenzaba a inquietarme. El hasta ese momento insospechado (para mí) delirio de Diana había construido una cinematografía con los sexos invertidos. Aunque no del todo coherente, ya que a Gregory Peck y Jerry Lewis los había dejado intactos. –¿La... Madrina? –Sí. Basada en la novela de María Puzo. –Sí. Ya veo –dije, y luego de mirarla fijamente a los ojos esperando alguna clase de desmentido (una palabra, una sonrisa, o lo que fuese), añadí: –lo que no sé es si me estás tomando el pelo o si estás más loca que mi hermana.

Alfombra. Whisky con hielo. O yogur. Así empecé a desvariar, y a hacerme algunos ligeros toques masturbatorios con la mano desde el bolsillo. Nada serio, nada que hiciera trabajar mucho la próstata. Apenas un aviso, para que ésta supiera lo que le esperaba más tarde y se pusiera en guardia, preparándose para luego estar a la altura de los acontecimientos. Es bueno aclarar que la mano con que realicé estas maniobras secretas, amparado en la opacidad de mi escritorio, fue la izquierda. Para una masturbación plena y completa yo siempre había utilizado la derecha, pero con el pantalón puesto el bolsillo izquierdo estaba mucho más cerca de mi miembro y allí tuve que fijar obligadamente mi base 62 | Leo Maslíah de operaciones.

Qué pasa? –pregunté a Diana–. ¿Siempre atienden en casal, acá? –Parece que sí –dijo ella–. Yo nunca había venido acá, pero sé de varios bares donde es así. –Nunca vi. Pero por lo menos podía haberte atendido el mozo a vos y la moza a mí –dije, bromeando. –Así es en los bares porno –contestó Diana. La mujer loba ataca de nuevo | 33 –¿Bares porno? ¿Y vos qué sabés de eso? –Sólo de oídas –se apresuró a decir ella–. No te sulfures. –¿Se puede saber qué te dio por andar ventilando nuestras intimidades con mi hermana?

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